Lance and Miles 5

Here's what will probably be the last bit of character outlining of Lance and Miles before I go back and start editing and looking over what i've written.

Miles rarely sleeps more than four hours a night and has been like this since he entered his teens. What makes things worse is that he eats a lot of sugar, giving him regular sugar low's. He doesn't really do any drugs surprisingly and to the amazement of his friends, whenever they have been to a rave he miraculously is always the last one left awake. People suspect he has A.D.H.D as once he nicked an American exchange student's ritalin, took it and became a normal human being. He never the less has done his fair share of drugs. Lots of them. After six months he had become bored with all of them though. He always sleeps dead straight, facing up as if in a coffin he has done this ever since he rolled out of the top bunk of a bunk bead when he was seven. He is just as much of a homophobe as everyone in his family and he doesn't realize that many of the people he looks up to would suggest otherwise; Richard O'Brien, Kenneth Williams and Kevin Spacey. When he is bored he likes to go London Zoo, The Science Museum and the London Transport Museum. Frequently he gets into prolonged conversations with bus drivers when boarding the bus and it holds everyone up. Although he doesn't like to think about the future he thinks a lot about old age. One way in which he is quite wise is in his acceptance of the fact that we all grow old and die and that in old age we have a greater capacity to accept life as it is and - partly due to life's "work" being over and done with - loose all the worries that plague humans in their youth such has those regarding careers, money and relationships. Unfortunately he is the very opposite of what he preaches; he is frequently agitated by the most trivial of things, he is almost running from his future yet is still worried about his career, money and relationships although he pretends to himself that he isn't. He is very much a glass half empty person and he thinks the grass is always greener on the other side. He doesn't really go to the other side though, at least not intentionally.

Miles' dream is to go into politics and become Lord Chief Justice. This is partly because he sees it as just the right kind of power; old school power with many fingers in many pies, but also because he figures it is the most powerful job in Britain that demands one to wear a wig in the job. Wearing a wig is a must for him (and partly the reason why he wanted to be a barrister) because he is very ashamed about his lack of hair. Miles gives to a number of charities; save the children, freedom from torture and follicle aid (a charity that helps fight baldness). He still doesn't give to tramps and is very stingy when it comes to christmas presents as he believes that none of his family need/deserve presents. He feels the same about receiving presents too and every Christmas his wife gets him something he doesn't want. There is a cupboard in his bedroom full of very nice hardly opened things such as a motorized tie rack, an ipad and a home gym as well as trivial tat like a self stirring mug and a billy bass singing fish. His wife is slowly and subtly coaxing him into having christmas at their place one year mostly by asking the rest of Miles' family to do a shoddy job the all the things Miles likes about Christmas so that he'll feel that if he wants a good christmas he'll have to do it himself. You see for all Miles' aversion to presents he adores Christmas and it is probably the time of year where he feels the most powerful and is most relaxed. It is also when most of his jokes are actually laughed at. Miles' family will always remember Christmas 2009 when his wife bought him an iphone. It has been the only extravagant gift (in fact the only gift full stop) he has accepted since his childhood on the grounds that it is an indispensable tool and a work of art. It is also of such a significance because since he got it he has become a lot cooler and a little more relaxed. His family think that it's because apple suddenly made being an organized businessman look edgy and sexy; all of a sudden everywhere all the suits were looking like this and were proud of it. Every now and again Miles' wife jokes about his hilarious hypocrisy with regard to his iphone/attitude to presents and Miles gives an arrogant, long winded and silly explanation as to why this iphone is an exception to the no presents rule. Very quickly Miles' wife reminds herself what good the iphone has done her husband and shuts her trap before Miles' realizes she's right and gets rid of the iphone and stops being as cool.