Lance and Miles 3

More on Miles and Lance

Lance comes across to some people as having a sunny disposition and to others as being a nervous wreck and slightly rude depending on weather he's on form or not. His three good friends his age have been mates with him since they were all very small. They are like brothers however Lance is still very much the Black sheep. All four of them live in a house that backs on to the same communal garden in Hendon, North London. Other than black people Lance is most afraid of all forms of Physical pain. He frequently crosses the road to avoid any dodgy looking people approaching much to the annoyance of his friends. They persuade him to take self defense classes but he says that he doesn't have the time as he's about to start writing his musical. He's been about to start writing his musical for the past five years. The real reason he doesn't want to do the classes is because of his brother and he doesn't want to be seen to be trying to be like his brother in any way as he knows that it will just make him look silly. Lance got a little scare the other day when his brother thought he'd try writing a novel on the side of his cage-fighting career. Lance's dad takes the piss out of Lance by calling him gay (who could blame him). Lance manages to always fluff what might actually be a reasonable retort involving how his brother plays with scantily clad men in a cage for a living. Lance probably gets his nervous wreck/sunny disposition from his dad. Whilst his dad may be mean to his son and syphon off money he still makes an effort as a dad. But it's usually the wrong sort. His dad doesn't seem to have grown up, he takes the boys to strip clubs, gets tattoos with the boys and really doesn't seem to mind that his three sons are Neo Nazis. Then his father drinks and doesn't talk to his children for days and sits in front of the telly watching awful shows like deal or no deal. This wayward upbringing is probably the closest one might say Lance is to living in a "broken home". Lance's dad has never cheated on his wife, although he's had his fair share of the ladies he now couldn't really be bothered. Lance doesn't really know where he'll be in twenty years. He used to be adamant that he was going to be a variety of things, last year he was convinced of being the following; an actor, a golf caddie, a synchronised swimming coach, a daemon headmaster, a barrister. Finally though he learnt his lesson after getting drunk whilst watching Britain's got Talent and realising that having a dream is bloody embarrassing.

Miles adores going on holiday and is a completely different person when on one. The only time his wife has seen him drunk was in Barabdos last year when the family were entertaining an cool sociable American family at the Villa they were staying in. Miles must've felt under pressure to entertain and for the latter part of the evening couldn't stop grinning and shouting "this is such good wine!" Miles has a bit of a thing for Americans and America and a smile comes to his face whenever the country is mentioned. He spent a lot of time there on his gap year both in Washington D.C and Long Island. He is scarily blasé about the slave trade, saying that it's all done and dusted thanks to Mr Obama, and that "Africa and the States have let bygones be bygones! I mean they even helped out with all kinds of favours like sorting Gadaffi, giving Aids awareness courses and boosting their economy with all the movies made there, like Blood Diamond!" It is because of comments like these that his father (and most of his family) jokes with him and calls him a coconut; black on the outside, white on the inside. Miles' father inherited a lot of money from his grandfather (a nigerian politician). Miles' father has worked two jobs his entire life, both have been for Miles' grandfather. Miles' father is blissfully unaware of the strong possibility that Miles' grandfather was not "the only honorable soul, amidst the corrupt ocean of Nigerian politics". Anyone who knows anything about Nigeria's political history, the rest of Mile's extended family or Miles' Grandfather's amazing ability to divert dinner table attention away from his work feels that Miles' grandrather had a fair few skeletons in his closet. This is partly why Miles has such an aversion to fun and letting his hair down as he (somewhat irrationally) associates fun with being blissfully ignorant of the fact that the rest of the world is suffering torture and pain.